MAKING NEW FRIENDS

CHALLENGE: Making new friends

REALity: A study found that the majority of women have not made a new friend in 5 years. Making a new friend isn’t easy plus we have the increased difficulty of Covid. Also, women who feel lonely don’t think that others feel the same but they do. You are not alone. Let’s all be more proactive in reaching out to each other.
So how can we become more intentional in making new friends?

INSPIRATION:
Quotes from Author Wendy Speake:
“you can only trust someone you know and know someone you spend time with.”
“friendship means knowledge of a person and trust of a person”
“knowing someone is different than having friendship with them”

There is a simple formula for creating a new friendship and a real connection. To first connect with someone new, you want to use the 4C’s – Click, Commonality, Communicate, Cultivate

​Let’s compare the 4C’s to making a recipe. Hopefully you are better at making recipes than I am!

Click – To find the best recipe, you first look through different recipes to pick the one that’s right for you – a recipe in which you like all the ingredients. This is the same for connecting where you find a person that you like and enjoy her company. Someone that you ‘click’ with.

Commonality – Once you have picked your recipe, you assemble all the ingredients and tools that you will need. As with a new connection, you start to gather information to find all the commonalities that you and the other person have. What are similar interests that you both have?

Communicate – After getting the ingredients and tools, you carefully follow the instructions for making the recipe. This can involve preparing, chopping, measuring, mixing, stirring and pouring. Just like there are many steps in following recipe instructions, there are steps in communicating. It is a back and forth opportunity to enhance the connection. Stay consistent to allow the friendship to develop and grow.

Cultivate – The fun part of making a recipe is enjoying it! You are meant to savor the fruit of your labor. This is the same for our connections. They are meant to be cultivated by tending to them, enhancing them, and deepening them.

GOD’S TRUTH:
Paul and Barnabas
In Acts 9, we read about the beginning of the relationship between Paul and Barnabas. Barnabas was well respected by Jesus’ disciples, but Paul was a recent convert to Christianity. With Paul’s background as a Christian killer, the disciples were afraid of Paul. They certainly did not trust him or really believe that he had changed his ways.

However, something clicked between Barnabas and Paul. Barnabas had watched Paul preach in Damascus and knew that the conversion profoundly changed him. Barnabas realized that he and Paul had a common interest in sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ. Barnabas even convinced the disciples to welcome Paul as a fellow Christ follower.

Barnabas and Paul made a real connection that carried them on many missionary journeys together. Not only did they communicate and encourage each other, they also powerfully shared the gospel to many people. Acts 12:24-25 says, “The word of God continued to increase and spread. When Barnabas and Paul had finished their {current} mission, they returned to Jerusalem, taking with them John, also called Mark.”

Many people were against the message of the gospel that Barnabas and Paul were teaching. Acts 13:49-51 “The word of the Lord spread through the whole region. But the Jews incited the God-fearing women of high standing and the leading men of the city. They stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas and expelled them from the region. So, they shook the dust from their feet in protest against them and went to Iconium.”

A real connection doesn’t always mean smooth sailings. There will be difficulties in every relationship. A real connection must be cultivated in order to withstand the hard times. I love that Barnabas and Paul just ‘shook the dust from their feet’ which means they didn’t allow the current situation to stop them from completing their common goal of spreading the gospel. They kept cultivating each other’s faith in Jesus, each other, and their mission.

The Bible continues to tell us that the two men went to Iconium where they spoke so effectively that many people became believers. A cultivated connection will include obstacles, but it will also include victory! Acts 14:3 says, “So Paul and Barnabas spent considerable time there, speaking boldly for the Lord, who confirmed the message of His grace by enabling them to do miraculous signs and wonders.”

To learn more about Barnabas and Paul, read their continued story in Acts 15. You will discover the eventual conflict that separated the two men as well as how God used that conflict for the good of many.

YOUR TRUTH:
Many women feel that they don’t have anything to offer to a new friendship. They don’t feel good about themselves and therefore convince themselves that no one else will like them. If this is you, REJECT this lie. Yes, you do have something special to offer a new friend. God desires for all of us to be connected with others. Please don’t believe that you don’t have anything to offer. You do!!

ACTION PLAN:
For real connection and new friendship, use the 4C’s

• Click
• Commonality
• Communicate
• Cultivate

Also, be patient. A new friendship will start slow. Give it time to grow and develop.
Please hit reply and let me know who you plan to connect with.

​Need some creative inspiration on how to connect with others? Download the free resource Real Connection Starter Guide.

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